To Be Or Not To Be

I want to join the Student Council. Or rather, I wanted to – after reading of the general process of the election process. Aside from meeting the usual criteria,  for example, a certain amount of GPA, you would also have to garner votes from the student body for your election. Quite unlike the so-called student councils of secondary schools where the teacher’s word was law. Of course I shouldn’t expect any lesser, it is university after all… but then a part of me shrivels up and dies with the thought of having to garner votes.

I’m not charismatic, nor do I have any talent or skill. My leadership skills have always been on the clumsy side, and I don’t know enough to be a leader. The Student Council manages people – the entire study body, that is. And I don’t have the connections nor the sensibilities of a social creature, to prowl within the various circles of the community. That is to say, I am extremely sure that few, if any, would vote for me.

I want to make a difference. I want to change how things are. I want to represent the student body… yet how can I claim to represent them when I cannot speak their lingo? How can I change things when I am usually confused most of the time? How can I make a difference if I don’t know how to?

Fancy words aside, I cannot imagine why would anyone vote for me.

Perhaps caution should be left indoors, and I should just try and run for Council anyway… but at the same time, that is the fastest way to crush my low self-esteem… and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that just yet.

The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie…

You don’t have to be alone

It excites me to imagine that at the end of this year I could be snuggling in to sleep in his arms. It creates little bubbles of joy in me that we may have enough money so that I could stay for a full month – leaving ASAP after my final examinations, and dragged back to Singapore just before school starts. I think of the stories of his house as I listen to the sound of the room. It’s strange, isn’t it, the difference of how rooms sound with and/or without people in it.

This year, my resolutions for now shall be:

– to send packages, emails, letters etc… on time.
– to pick up Spanish
– to read more

‘Til the next time then, darlings.

Laus Azure Divum BBQ

It has been a very cold, cloudy day. Moments earlier I took The Hoodie out of the dryer and grinned insanely as I slipped it on, feeling the much-welcomed warmth wrap around me. I felt surprisingly, perhaps even insanely happy just for the heat. And the heat is leaving with every passing second.

I think of a million things in the hours between we get to steal time together. The noise that surrounds me, the dilemma of my growing tummy, my suspicions of having celiac disease, the Nazis’ unfailing obedience to orders, prison environments, and of the week ahead.

No school. And no games either, since FFXI seems to be an uncertainty now for this month. So I read and have the time to test out different web browsers (I’m using Flock for both my Mac and Windows partition, despite having few to call friends).

And we had the guild BBQ, which was enormous fun.

We had to take group pictures twice because some came late (::cough:: Gavilyn and Jinglebells!).

But it was great fun, confusion, and food. The best BBQ food I’ve ever had I believe. Hail mashed potatoes, thanks to Kristela and her partner Jessica – for both the food and the venue.