First Times

Posted in Quick by Sandra on December 31, 2008

20:45 – 1st half, blue pill. It is supposedly “weaker” than the green one.

22:25 – 2nd half, green pill.

00:00 – Research on Finally found some info about green pill. First comment there says “These are fakes.”

00:30 – Still waiting for peak…

01:00 – Feeling a little light-headed and a general sense of zen. Omm…

01:14 – Rather chatty on PMAC channel ingame.

01:20 – Just finished listening to Shpongle album with Thrawn. Loved “Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.”

01:46 – Still feeling good. Not peaking, but good. I wonder when we’ll sleep. I need to shower. :<

01:53 – Joined a session of SotA and was killed in my Gnomish form in 2 seconds :/

01:59 – Tummy queasy…

02:00 – christ it’s 2am…

02:09 – WoW went down for rolling restarts, wonder if I’ll bother to log back on. Fall Out Boy’s new album is really good!

02:15 – Shower, sleep…

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Finding Out

Posted in Letters (Old) by Sandra on December 29, 2008

In some small ways I never really got over Emmanuel.

Most of all it was guilt over how we ended up, breaking it off bitterly. I lost a best friend, despite the relationship deteriorating.

Today, I added him back on MSN – he hadn’t blocked me, but probably did remove me from his list – and saw the words, “I luv you mi negrita!”.

And a deep chill washed over me, nothing to do with the cool Melbourne breezes.

At least now I’ve established that he’s got a new partner and almost definitely moved on, filing events of the past two years away for personal perusal and the occasional public display of “My ex did this for me” moments.

Funny how no matter how angry I get at Emmanuel, at the end of the day if you ask me if I’m willing to speak to him again, the answer is always yes without hesitation. But life moves on for him, while I was given a new life entirely.

Guess I’d better treasure it… :)

P.S.: In case you’re wondering, I’ve removed (but not blocked) him from every communication method I utilize… What is the point of watching an ex’s status bounce from inactive to active, and let yourself feel little pangs of disappoint each time he doesn’t initiate conversation – which in this case, is probably going to be so for a very, very long time… ?

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