Finding Out

Posted in Letters (Old) by Sandra on December 29, 2008

In some small ways I never really got over Emmanuel.

Most of all it was guilt over how we ended up, breaking it off bitterly. I lost a best friend, despite the relationship deteriorating.

Today, I added him back on MSN – he hadn’t blocked me, but probably did remove me from his list – and saw the words, “I luv you mi negrita!”.

And a deep chill washed over me, nothing to do with the cool Melbourne breezes.

At least now I’ve established that he’s got a new partner and almost definitely moved on, filing events of the past two years away for personal perusal and the occasional public display of “My ex did this for me” moments.

Funny how no matter how angry I get at Emmanuel, at the end of the day if you ask me if I’m willing to speak to him again, the answer is always yes without hesitation. But life moves on for him, while I was given a new life entirely.

Guess I’d better treasure it… :)

P.S.: In case you’re wondering, I’ve removed (but not blocked) him from every communication method I utilize… What is the point of watching an ex’s status bounce from inactive to active, and let yourself feel little pangs of disappoint each time he doesn’t initiate conversation – which in this case, is probably going to be so for a very, very long time… ?

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