My Fault

Posted in The BF by Sandra on October 11, 2008

I feel like shit everytime this happens.

He says something.

I respond with what I see as an “amusing/humourous” comment.

He gets a bit defensive.

I try to explain, but he doesn’t understand.

Then, I give up, and tell him, Fine, just think whatever you want, you’re right, I’m wrong.

Cue Moments with Zioncross, hey?

So I feel hurt (key word here being “feel”) and I mention it.

He turns around and lays it out from his point of view — which obviously shows me, clear as day, that I’m the insulting party here.

I attempt once more to re-explain, then give up. What’s the point? I tell him to think whatever he wants.

He (sarcastically) thanks me for dismissing him, and goes offline immediately.

I proceed to slap myself in the face and generally beat myself up.

Things shouldn’t be this way, he’s not Zion and hasn’t given me shit like he did. But here I am giving him the shits. It hurts both of us because we sometimes don’t communicate on the same wavelength and I don’t realize it till the damage’s been done. I’d like to tell him I’m really sorry, but I don’t know how to explain. Perhaps my sense of humour is just too warped…

I almost wish Wednesday would come sooner still. I feel unbearably lonely when this keeps happening, over and over — entirely because it’s my fault.


One Response

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  1. Trisha said, on October 11, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Yep this is the time you gotta sit there all meek and mild and just be friendly, sorta not be yourself, weird i know, but for some people they will never understand
    So you gotta talk to them a little like you would a child.
    Hindsite of being older hehehe

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